La Festa del Bowling

Giulio's birthday is on Friday. He has become obsessed with birthdays lately, actually his own birthday. It is never anyone's birthday but his. When I tried to tell him two weeks ago that today was my birthday he looked and me for a moment and then shook his head.
"No Mommy. It is not your birthday, it's GIULIO's birthday! Not Mommy's."
We had a similar conversation when preparing to go to a fellow classmate's birthday party last week, how it wasn't Carlo's birthday but Giulio's, though in the end he relented long enough to give Carlo the Power Ranger that Lorenzo had picked out. No educational, wooden toy for this kid--just China all the way. Carlo's mom was thrilled, this was THE Power Ranger that Carlo had wanted and they had been unable to find it anywhere, I just smiled and acted like it was a careful deliberate choice on our part, rather than reveal the nasty truth that he had gone to buy Spiderman and they had been sold out.
Giulio first started to "get" birthdays last year when he turned three. People were giving him gifts! And singing! And feeding him cake! And all because he was a year older. But what I think really piqued his interest was when Livia had her birthday when we were in Cincinnati in August. I'll admit it, I even posted on a website reviling people who gave big parties for babies too little to enjoy them and then went on to throw a large two-phase birthday for a one year old. We had 16 of our closest friends and family, though I fully admit that this party was all about me wanting to get the people I love together in one room with the excuse of celebrating Livia's birthday in Cincinnati. Giulio's birthday is too late in the year to ever be celebrated in the US with our family and friends back home
. We held the party at a (clean and smoke-free) bowling alley across the river in Kentucky, followed by aperativi and prosecco at our house afterwards. We bowled, kept Livia away from the balls and off the floor, ate pizza, drank a lot of beer and then opened presents and had cake, and it was a success, a sort of melding of the Best of The Red American States with a strong Italian twist. The only drawback was that Lorenzo wasn't there, he had flown back to Italy the week before to start work. The cheese and wine for the aperativi cost more than the entire party at the bowling alley, and it gave Giulio the die hard belief that he his birthday had to involve bowling as well. I don't even like bowling, and even though there are bowling alleys here in Italy, it just seems to me like the quintessential American activity, I mean, I have never seen an Italian bringing his own ball and shoes to go play, I don't even know where one could buy bowling shoes in Italy. Lorenzo always wants to go whenever we are back in the States, he was the one who was the most enthusiastic about the party for Livia, and he also happens to be very good at the game. We never go here. For one thing, I am a terrible bowler (yes-me the American), and another, who wants to bowl while trying to keep two small children from running/crawling down the lanes?
Luckily for Giulio there is a bowling alley two towns over that does actual party packages, the American version frozen pizza and pitcher of pop having been replaced by foccaccia, pizzette, and olives. We booked for about 12 people, the owner explained to us the phases of the party. Instead of eating as we bowl (isn't that the best part??) we would play a game and then adjorn to the tables where we would have the food and cake, before moving back to the lanes for one more game. There was no problem with bringing spumante, and they could order the cake too if we wanted. And so, on Saturday we will all be there, six adults, four children, and two toddlers and Giulio probably bouncing off the walls with excitement.
Part of me feels, well not guilty but sort of silly for doing this kind of party, though I can hardly justify that it was OK for Livia and over the top for Giulio. The parties we have been to so far have been your basic birthday party. The kids run around and play and then the mom comes out with food and then the cake, presents are opened and then playing is resumed. There are no themes, no bouncy castles, no pony rides. If your house is too small you book the game room at the church and have it there, though then it is up to you to clean and mop the floor afterwards. In doing the bowling party we also had to greatly limit numbers to avoid spending a small fortune, only inviting people we are close to, rather than a big group of kids from his class. At any rate on Friday Giulio will take cake and bottles of coke to school with him to share with his class and they will sing to him and I know that he can't wait, he keeps talking about taking the cake to school. But I have already decided next year we invite his whole class, I buy a bunch of pizzette, panini, Nutella, and birthday cake, and we book the game room down at the church. But as any parent knows what you want to do is make your child happy, even if it means a Saturday wearing rented shoe. Sometimes you worry: is it too much? Am I teaching him to always expect a lot?I don't think I am over doing it, at least not this time with Giulio. Is a bowling party for 12 more excessive than a sit-down 6 course meal for 10? Yes, that is how we celebrated Giulio's first birthday. You could argue it beats bowling hands down.